Once upon a time there were two happy, healthy Halloween pumpkins. Although they were content spending their days with the other pumpkins, they dreamed of having a face and a porch of their own. They were thrilled when two humans happened upon them and decided to give them faces. The humans lovingly carved the pumpkins, whereby "lovingly" means the humans derived pleasure from chopping, slashing and slicing into them and pulling out their guts.
The two pumpkins, with their new-found faces, spent their days enjoying the simple life: hanging out on the porch, conversing with the hostas and watching the sun set (which really means that they just sat on the porch inanimately). Until one day when the two pumpkins realized, to their horror, that the very faces they had coveted would be their downfall. Slowly, but surely, malevolent beings were attacking their vulnerable faces and stealing all of their mojo, where "malevolent beings" means bacteria, fungi and other microorganisms and "mojo" means stored carbon dioxide, nitrogen, water and other essential compounds.
The pumpkins began to feel very ill and started to lose their youthful good looks.
Despite a few days of heroic efforts to overcome their slayers (where "slayers" means mold and decomposition), the unfortunate pumpkins passed on to that great Pumpkin Heaven in the Sky (which looks amazingly similar to the dumpster in the backyard).
It seemed as though the forces of evil had once again won the battle against the Halloween Pumpkins...or did they?
3 comments:
Hilarious. . I'm going to have to share my dad's story of the melting snowman.
That is too funny! Those poor unsuspecting pumpkins didn't stand a chance.
I stole a copy of your button. We are definitely on team Jodi!
Post a Comment